I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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