Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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