it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I didn't notice because vodka
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
