she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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