shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
