What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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