that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
