Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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