put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
