Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
