I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
