I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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