I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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