We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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