I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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