and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
