It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
