I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
