that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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