i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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