my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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