I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
