Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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