The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
