Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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