Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
