who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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