I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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