If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
