My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy