I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
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Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian