...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...