he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
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I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
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You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest