Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
