i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I use my feet as sexual weapons
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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