My pussy is not your playground.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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