you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
