I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
