and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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