So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
