his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize