you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
