We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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