He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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