Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
