I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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