What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
