Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
