The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
