I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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