Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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