what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
