In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
