Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
