question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
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At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
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I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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