she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
