i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
