Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
