Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
