Im at strip club and am horny
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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