Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later