Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
